When the dream ends early
Scottish writer Louise Slyth and her husband moved to Barcelona, chasing the lifestyle everyone talks about. After a year, they left. She later explained that they felt like outsiders looking in. They were never able to connect with the locals, no matter how hard they tried.
American mother Lauren told Business Insider that she moved from Barcelona to Madrid and that they are much happier now. She says her son felt isolated and ignored in school, lessons were in Catalan, and she said it created “a barrier we couldn’t cross.” Once in Madrid, she noticed a clear difference. She appreciates how people speak openly, socialise more easily, and don’t make language a dividing line.
Even travel writer Ben Holbrook, who spent years promoting Barcelona through his blog Driftwood Journals, eventually relocated to Asturias. He said life there finally felt “natural,” while Barcelona had begun to feel like a city of temporary friendships and constant goodbyes.
A footballer’s blunt truth
Former FC Barcelona midfielder Emmanuel Petit was one of the few to say it publicly. In later interviews, he described being at the club, and told to speak Catalan instead of Spanish, noting that the locker room itself was split between Catalan and foreign players. He recalled “an invisible border” he couldn’t cross, the same invisible wall many expats living in Barcelona comment about online.
Polite distance and social isolation
Comments from expats often repeat the same sentiment: locals are courteous but emotionally distant. Many long-term residents describe how friendships rarely move beyond polite exchanges, and how invitations into Catalan homes are extremely rare.
One British resident on Reddit wrote that “after two years I realised I had dozens of contacts but not one close friend from here.”
Another comment on the long-running blog Sunshine & Siestas put it simply: “Barcelona is friendly at the surface and frozen underneath.”
Catalans say that it isn’t malice, it’s just cultural. Catalan society values privacy, and tight family bonds. For newcomers who are used to quick small talk and open circles, that restraint can feel like rejection. This is especially evident once you have experienced the social warmth of other parts of Spain, and a big factor why many foreigners to seek greener pastures elsewhere.
When pride turns into hostility
That local Catalan pride, or as one foreigner described it online ‘a heightened sense of self-importance‘, can harden into open resentment towards foreigners. In recent years, anti-tourism protests have filled Barcelona’s streets with banners telling foreigners to “go home.” What began as frustration with mass tourism easily slides into anger at outsiders in general.
Public figures such as Michael Barrymore even abandoned plans to move there after facing aggressive rhetoric from activists. For many residents, the line between protecting culture and rejecting outsiders has become dangerously blurred.
Online discussions increasingly mention a subtle xenophobia that hides behind language and identity politics. Expats say they often feel tolerated but never accepted, particularly when Catalan nationalism resurfaces in local politics.
The trap of perfect marketing
Part of the disappointment in Barcelona comes from expectation. Barcelona is one of the most heavily marketed cities on Earth. It is sold as a place of art, beach life, attractions, delicious food, and cosmopolitan freedom. But the city promoted by influencers and tourism boards is not the same as the one you live in.
Foreigners say it is transient, and emotionally guarded.
One expat commented: ‘You can be surrounded by people every night and still feel alone‘.
Another long time foreign resident wrote in a forum: “Barcelona doesn’t reject you outright, it just never lets you in.”
Barcelona will mesmerise many, but for those who stay, fitting in rarely comes easily. Its fierce pride and strong identity give it character, yet they can also keep newcomers at arm’s length.
What are your thoughts on Barcelona? How do you feel it rates in friendliness and quality of life when compared with other cities in Spain? Would you live in Barcelona?
